Lies have the capacity of questioning all your truths, they are like scars to the souls. They are capable of destroying all your dreams. By the time you became a parent you are aware of half the nuances of life. You must have crossed various paths, ups and downs. You learnt a lot through your experiences. And one such thing is lie. Parenting is not just a yet another task in your life. It is the process of shaping your child’s life, his believes in life, forming his relation with this world.
On daily basis you must be receiving advises from all side on what to teach your child, what not to expose in front of him. One of the important thing you should watch is , children lying to you on certain things. When you catch your child in a lie, it’s natural to feel betrayed, hurt, angry and frustrated. But here’s the truth: lying is normal. It’s wrong, but it’s normal. Have you questioned yourself on why your kids lie,
These are the main reasons why kids lie,
To avoiding hurting others – Most of us do this to our kids, we force them to say ” I like the gifts very much” even if they not to someone. So they believe not to hurt others even if you are not ok in that situation.
To avoid Troubles – Most kids lie at one time or another to get out of trouble. Let’s say they’ve gotten themselves into a jam because they did something they shouldn’t have done. Maybe they broke a rule or they didn’t do something they were supposed to do, like their chores. If they don’t have another way out, rather than suffer the consequences, they lie to avoid getting into trouble.
To get something they want – each and every house have certain rules formed by the parents and the kids must follow, some kids have the guts to overcome that. Some kids choose to lie to their parents to get what they want out of the rules.
So what should we do when we found them lying,
Listen to them – When you found your kid lying to you, dont be panic,just sit and take time to listen to what they are trying to do. And it is our task and responsibility as adults to decipher what that reason may be, to understand them more, to listen deeper, and to find out what that “sense making” is. While they are busy learning our language, we need to be busy learning their language. In the context of this article, what are they saying when they lie? There is a communication in that too.
Pay attention to the things behind in your kid’s environment – We can only be as honest with others as we are with ourselves. Thus, a child’s capacity to be honest is connected with his level of self-awareness and self-knowledge. Your son might say “I’m fine” or just “fine,” in response to your question, “How are you, how was our day?” not in order to fool you or to cover up what is really going on, but because the feelings are too complicated and confusing to put into words. He doesn’t actually know what he is feeling, so “fine” may be the best he can muster in the moment. This is another reason why it is so important to pay attention to the many ways a child speaks his truth.
Walk the talk – Children learn primarily through imitation,Don’t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you. So, notice whether what you say and what you do align. When you promise your child, “I’ll be back in just a few minutes,” how accurate is that? Are your speech and your actions in alignment? Try to be consistent with your integrity, and accurate in your language. If, for example, your son asks you to watch him at his baseball game on the weekend and you are not sure you can fulfill his wish, then say something like, “I will do my best to be there”.
Insist them the value of truth telling – Passing on values is a huge part of parenting. If you don’t do it, everything else will — peers, media, the internet, society at large. So, how do you feel about the truth? Speak openly with your child, tell him about the sacred nature of words and of agreements. Words mean something, we rely on them to know what is going on for each other. We need to be able to trust each other’s words, else it is very difficult to trust one another